Solitary Rambling through Zombie Paradise

This weekend I hopped on a train to Buenos Aires to enjoy the beautiful (60-something and sunny) weather. It's almost spring, and you can tell! I started the day off by walking the entirety of the world's widest street, Avenida 9 de julio. It was not as exciting as it sounds (read: not exciting at all) but still a pleasant stroll. More importantly, the good long walk helped me internalize the geography of the city a bit more.

I ended up in Recoleta, a perfectly lovely neigborhood. Starving, I stopped by a street fair (common in any given plaza on Saturdays and Sundays) where I could be sure to find some cheap and delicious food. I tried for the first time pan relleno, stuffed bread: ham and cheese baked into a calzone-shaped bread. Yum. After enjoying the music and artisan stands for a while, I headed up the hill to see the famous Recoleta Cemetery.

Now, first I should tell you that I really like cemeteries, especially really old ones. I love the cemetery in downtown Downers, and like seeing cemeteries of different cultures when I travel. But man, I was really not prepared for this cemetery.

First of all, it's gigantic. Secondly, it's filled not with tombstones like any sensible cemetery, but with giant mausoleums constructed in various styles. The grid arrangement of the tombs, with tree-lined passageways, gives it the distinct feeling of a city-- a city for the dead (insert appropriate sound affects).

Note what I mean:

So these mausoleums are, perhaps predictably, filled with dead people. What was a little shocking was the creepiness factor of how they are arranged and honored. Namely, the coffin just sits right there, on a little shelf or right on the floor, and there are creepy artifacts all around it. Lots of crosses, pictures, even one ceramic piggy bank that was downright demonic. Here's a picture (taken through the cross-shaped opening of a door-- note, no glass or anything to keep the zombies in!) of a pretty typical one:

Now, up to this point I was not too surprised. Yes, it seems fairly ridiculous to go to such excesses just to show off how rich and powerful you are, but I guess that's kind of the point. What I really wasn't expecting was how many mausoleums have fallen into total disrepair- no doubt due to old money families losing their money or dying out.

So I'm walking along, noticing some rusty doors, some broken glass, some cobwebs. All kind of creepy. Then I see this beauty:

DO YOU SEE THIS? Do you see how the doors are just gaping wide open, and the coffins are all falling off of their shelves and busting open, and the vampires can totally just escape, no problemo? I absolutely could not believe it. And of course was morbidly fascinated by it, so here are a couple more choice pictures. (If you find this distasteful, you might want to skip to the bottom of the post. Because I got really into finding delightfully creepy things to photograph.)

I was half expecting a hand to fall out!

Creepy demon bird, probably possessed by the soul of whoever's coffin that is.

Maria Isabel is coming for you...

After indulging my morbid side (I'm a little worried that a flock of vampires is going to come after me for taking these photos), I made the requisite visit to Evita Perón's grave:

Then I finally left the city of the dead and returned to that of the living: a vibrant, lively city in the late afternoon sun. I walked a good deal more, stopping to enjoy this gorgeous modern statue just a couple blocks away from the cemetery:

The giant steel flower opens every morning and closes every night, operating on some kind of hydraulics system. Lovely, no? And on that much less ghoulish note I leave you, dear readers, until next time.